I want a C section. It is something that I have been thinking about and considering since about 5 months of bumpishness. Surprisingly my mum then suggested it before I had told her I was thinking of it a few weeks later, as it turns out she had a pretty nasty experience with me, and was kept in for for a week post birth with various complications (And a surgery) even though I weighed just under 6lbs. She’s as petite as me and she said if there was an option for me to not have to go through what she did (potentially) she thinks I should take it.
MY other reasons in brief are:
- husband was almost 11’7 at birth, was two weeks overdue and after almost a 2 day labour just wouldn't come out, so was an emergency c section.
- his sister was then a c section 3 weeks early as she was over 9 lbs
- his older brother was born with a brain defect that meant he effectively lived like a 4 month old till he sadly died at 18, and although this is not genetic it still fills me with fear
- I am SO anxious that if I attempt to do it naturally I will end up having to have a C section anyway
- I do not want to go overdue, the baby is already measuring 2 weeks ahead with legs at almost full term. The consultant I saw on Friday reckons ‘7lbs’ at birth but I just do not believe him.
I am still waiting for an appointment with the ‘wellbeing’ clinic to discuss my anxieties, but have been waiting for this for 6 weeks now (good one, NHS) and the consultant basically shot me down and said ‘all first timers are anxious’ but I know most people are not to the extent that I am, and so for that reason I am going to (I think…) call him back on Tuesday to tell him I definitely want a C-section. I know it is my right to ask for one, and I also know that the Brighton hospital was told to get their rates of C sections down, hence his unwillingness to book it in when I saw him.
The few people I have mentioned it to have actually been a lot more supportive than I thought they would be, apart from one person saying ‘oh, well its okay if you don’t feel that maternal yet’ which I took to be a stupid statement and ended the conversation quick sharp. If anything, I personally feel that I will probably have more of a connection with the baby if I haven't gone through potentially 2 days of hard labour to get it out.
I have weighed up the pros and cons, I know it is ‘major surgery’ but people have them every day and survive. I have a network of people to support me afterwards and know that I can cope with the pain, as I've had my appendix out in the past (Admittedly I wasn't carting a baby/pram around right after, but I have a chunky husband to do that for me now!)
What are your thoughts on elective C sections?
Id always assumed id like a c section because I'm so so anxious about defects,horrible labour,the prospect of labour itself and having to go thro that potentially for so long.However,I'm now at the stage where I'm trying to convince myself that so many people do it AND get through it,that I feel I owe it to myself to try and the doctors will soon intervene if it's difficult.I feel like getting through a natural labour might give me the strength to get through anything,and by having a c section,it would b a typical Sophie response to anxiety (try to avoid the situation!).what I would say,is that obviously whilst defects,horrible labour and the waiting are natural first time mum anxieties and most of us can attribute that to people close to our hearts (every day I go to work I see the results of complicated births!!) only you can really control or determined how prepared u are to put yourself through it.incidentally,the statistics for people who end up having to having to have c sections anyway are very high!So maybe leaving it up to fate?!lol.if I look at the real basis for putting yourself up for major surgery,are those valid reasons that no other mother would have in some shape or form?Or are the pros of c section far outweighing the pros of natural? Another thing to remember is how different the process was when our parents gave birth 28 years ago,the education,drugs,assistant and scans would not have been there to prepare those ladies and ultimately highlights the higher number of difficult births back then.good luck in your decision,it's ultimately (!) got to be whatever is best and right for you.xxx
ReplyDeleteThat should read "if u look at the real basis.." xx
ReplyDeleteAs someone with generalised anxiety disorder battling to stay in control and not get overwhelmed during her first pregnancy, I think I can empathise in a way perhaps others can't.
ReplyDeleteI can totally understand why you're considering one - if I had the family history you did, I think I would be the same. There's so much out of our control with pregnancy (not to mention afterwards!) and I think it's only natural and sensible to eliminate those things that will make you feel most stressed, upset and disempowered. The prospect of being rushed for an emergency C-section when it's your first and you're anxious anyway is just horrendous and would be so traumatising. THOSE sensations are not good for the baby - and I've read that when labour doesn't go to plan the risks of PND rise exponentially.
My friend had an emergency c-section and it turned out that 6 out of the 7 women in her NCT class ended up having them. It seems illogical that the rates for emergency c-section can be so high but when someone with justifiable reasons wants to eliminate risk and stress it's deemed totally unacceptable. I think it's because of this backlash about the whole "to posh to push" thing - which is just indicative of this low-lying contempt for women and mothers that exists within the medical profession and in the media. From breastfeeding to going back to work to c-sections - we're bombarded with messages that we're not capable of making decisions and need to be shepherded and managed like the dumb farm creatures we actually are (end of feminist rant!).
Stand your ground love - as you say, it's your right to ask for one, and you know your body and your mind better than anyone else.
Oh poor you lovely, having all that worry then an unsupported consultant!
ReplyDeleteMy labour with Lily lasted 6 days. I was so exhausted- emotionally and physically. I couldn't sleep because of the contractions, apart from the times when I immediately fell asleep as a contraction ended, only to wake up to the next one 3 minutes later! I was also severely anemic (I fainted lots during my pregnancy, at one point it was happening a few times a day every day), I bled more heavily than is normal, tore badly, did the whole thing naturally and found it all so much harder than I expected. Lily was only just under 7lb (although the consultant had told me she was measuring much bigger. This happened to a few other people I know too, even with scans! I also know a lady though who had 6 children, all natural, none of them under 10lb!). For weeks after I would shake when I thought about the whole experience and was terrified of getting pregnant again. Now I feel completely differently. I am so happy I got to deliver naturally and the way I wanted. It was such an amazing experience, and I wouldn't change it for the world. I can't wait to do it again!
But I delivered the way I wanted. I knew I wanted to experience labour and I wanted to do it as naturally as possible, and that's what I did, and I'm so grateful for that. It's down to the personal choice of the mother. It's how I feel about pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and all aspects of parenting. When it comes to something as important as having a child, people should have the choice to do whatever makes them happiest and what feels right for them. I do have a friend who with her first child, had an emergency c section, then an elective c section with her second. She now can't have anymore children and said she really regrets her elective c section as she wishes she had tried to have a natural labour. But you sound so certain that this is what you want, so it's what you should have. Stand your ground with this consultant and demand the c section. It's your right, your body and your baby, and if it's important to you, nobody should stop you.
Good luck lovely and I hope you get what you want!
xxx
Gosh only you can decide but I shall add my thoughts. I used to think that I would want a c-section. Then I had an emergency c-section after the induction drip (another regret) caused my baby's heart-rate to drop. My baby and I almost didn't make it. They cut through my artery causing me to bleed out and then my baby got stuck in my pelvis. I had a J cut in my uterus to get him out. It was a horrendous experience and the recovery was awful and long. I didn't get to see my baby for 24 hours. I was practically housebound for 12 weeks. It is major surgery, it is huge, but because they are performed so often they're not seen as a big deal. But they are a big deal. It's brutal. They pull your uterus out of your abdomen to stitch it back up. For years I thought I would prefer a c-section but after having had one I will fight tooth and nail to avoid another if I am fortunate enough to have more babies in the future. Yes people have them every day and survive but people also have them every day and die. If it is what you want then go for it but don't go into it blindly like I did. I realise that this is sounding rather negative but it's not always like how you see on TV and I cannot tell you how much I wish I could go back in time and change my birth experience. Wishing you all the luck in the world whatever decision you make xx
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